{"product_id":"doom-scroll","title":"Doom Scroll: Wax-Sealed Curse Scroll, a Halloween Prank for Someone You Don't Like","description":"\u003cp\u003eBuy 3 or more, $20 each. Discount applies automatically in your cart.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShips in 2–3 business days · Ground shipping, calculated at checkout\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🎃 Halloween: order by Wednesday, October 21, 2026.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSomeone out there has it coming.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe coworker who microwaves fish. The neighbor with the leaf blower at 7 a.m. The ex. You know who they are. Send them a Doom Scroll.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePeople have been cursing each other in writing for thousands of years, on clay, on lead, and in the margins of monastery books. Every Doom Scroll curse is written \u003cstrong\u003ein the style of a real historical cursing tradition\u003c\/strong\u003e, then rolled and sealed in \u003cstrong\u003eblack wax\u003c\/strong\u003e. It arrives sealed, so they have to \u003cstrong\u003ebreak the seal themselves\u003c\/strong\u003e to read it. And every curse is about what happens to the one who breaks the seal.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eChoose your curse\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe Name-Curse: Ancient Mesopotamian.\u003c\/strong\u003e Mesopotamian kings ended their inscriptions with curses on anyone who defaced them. This one opens: \u003cem\u003e\"The seal has been broken by a living hand.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe Giving-Over: Roman Curse Tablet.\u003c\/strong\u003e Romans scratched curses onto thin sheets of lead, rolled them up, and handed their enemies over to the powers below. \u003cem\u003e\"I give to those beneath the earth the hand that broke this seal.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAnathema: Medieval Monastic.\u003c\/strong\u003e Medieval scribes guarded their books with curses on thieves, and the Church's gravest sentence was anathema. \u003cem\u003e\"Let him be ANATHEMA.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe Thorn-Wife's Curse: English Folk.\u003c\/strong\u003e A village curse full of household omens: spoons, shoes, sour milk, and a woman humming outside. It opens: \u003cem\u003e\"You meddling fool.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe 1893 Letter: Victorian Found Letter.\u003c\/strong\u003e In the manner of a Victorian ghost story: a letter from the scroll's last unlucky owner, and the footsteps that came one pace closer every night.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow to order\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePick a curse\u003c\/strong\u003e (one of the five above). It's written out in full on a sheet of handmade, antique-look cotton paper with deckled edges.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePick a seal:\u003c\/strong\u003e Grim Reaper, Raven, Demon, Skull \u0026amp; Raven, or Witch's Potion, all in black wax.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePick their pronouns\u003c\/strong\u003e (for the Name-Curse, the Giving-Over and Anathema only): him, her, or them. The Thorn-Wife's Curse and the 1893 Letter speak directly to \"you\", so no choice is needed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\u003cp\u003eEvery scroll is \u003cstrong\u003eanonymous\u003c\/strong\u003e. No names are written on it. The curse falls on whoever breaks the seal.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat to expect\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEach scroll is made to order and finished by hand: written, rolled, and sealed in real wax. \u003cstrong\u003eProcessing takes 2–3 business days\u003c\/strong\u003e, then it ships by ground.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHalloween order-by date: October 21, 2026.\u003c\/strong\u003e Orders placed later still ship, but we can't promise they'll arrive by Oct 31.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"ScrollScribe","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67647989809364,"sku":null,"price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0716\/8147\/4772\/files\/1-doom-scroll-sealed.jpg?v=1791476866","url":"https:\/\/scrollscribe.com\/products\/doom-scroll","provider":"ScrollScribe","version":"1.0","type":"link"}